Donald Trump to finally drain the swamp by pardoning everyone in it

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Donald Trump claiming a glorious victory in his attempts to ‘drain the swamp’, after choosing to pardon everyone who has found themselves in the swamp during his presidency.

From Roger Stone who was convicted of witness tampering and obstruction, to Paul Manafort who was convicted of tax fraud and conspiracy.

Political analyst Chuck Matthews told us, “Overall, Trump has set a new record for criminal convictions for those directly linked to his presidency. His team has really set a new high bar for criminal activity in politics.

“But it’s not just the people who committed crimes while working for him, it’s also their relatives. Jared Kushner’s Dad was convicted of tax evasion and witness tampering – and he’s even pardoned him.

“Though that’s probably because Kushner senior hired a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law and arranged to record a sexual encounter between the two, and then had the tape sent to his sister – that’s a move Trump can really empathise with.

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“Now he’s considering pardons for his children, and anyone else around him who is likely to face any sort of criminal action once he’s out of office.  Let’s be clear, if the constitution allowed him to pardon himself, he definitely would have done so by now.”

Meanwhile, Trump supporter Billy-Bob Williams told us, “President Trump has kept yet another promise to the American people – the swamp will be empty on the day he leaves office!

“The fact that he’s done it by pardoning his friends rather cleaning up Washington makes no difference to me, because I have no interest in nuance and the rule of law, only in being proven right.

“He’s made America great again! Shut up, yes he has.”

Enjoy Joe Biden’s inauguration with a nice mug of delicious MAGA Tears!