Iain Duncan Smith boasts he could easily live on a money bag half-filled with tuna

author avatar by 3 years ago

Iain Duncan Smith is harder than your kids, he has confirmed this morning.

The former Secretary of State for Work and Pensions and front runner in every “Cunt of the Year” contest since 2014 has confirmed he could easily live on the fiver’s worth of food contained in a school meal parcel valued at fifteen pounds.

“Pfft easy peasy,” scoffed Duncan Smith, eyeing the coke bag full of tuna, three slices of cheese and a frube with abject disgust.

“That’s a fortnight’s worth, right there. I could easily live on that. I’m not going to, because I’m not scum, but I could.

“So shut up and be grateful for the crumbs that have fallen from the high table, ok?” concluded the over-privileged boiled egg, before tucking into a club sandwich from the members’ dining hall.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” said Hayley Rice, a mother of two.

“I was worried that two potatoes and six slices of ham wouldn’t be enough to feed two children lunch for two weeks, but a rich man has told me it’s fine, which I suppose means it definitely is.”