Tuesday 12 January 2021

Ready Steady Cook’s Ainsley Harriott at a complete loss after being handed £30 bag of ‘free school meal’ ingredients


Ready Steady Cook legend Ainsley Harriott has been left at a complete loss after being given a bag with the ingredients that the government insists is enough for two weeks of lunches for a school-aged child.

Harriott said, “Yes, I get it, this is technically ‘food’. But you want me to make two weeks worth of lunches – from this? And this alone?

“Can I cheat a bit and use stuff from the larder to bulk it out a little? No? Well, I’m just at a complete loss then.”

Fifteen minutes later, Harriott said, “What about boiled potatoes with a carrot crudite starter maybe? Or ‘baked beans ala half a pepper’?

“But then I’m not sure what I’m supposed to for the other eight meals. Christ, this is difficult, isn’t it?”

The government has defended the food packages that have been appearing across social media over the last few days.

Spokesperson Simon Williams said, “If we are all being honest, Mr Harriott is demonstrating a severe lack of imagination.

“If he put his mind to it I’m sure he could take that tube of yoghurt, put it with the mini Soreen loaf and create a banquet fit for a king.

“The same goes for all the parents of hungry children opening these packages in the comfort of their own homes.  Think of it like a game show, but instead of winning money or the adulation of the audience, the prize you get to win is the possibility that your child might avoid getting scurvy.”

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