New roundabout named “Donald Trump roundabout” after his famed ability to give way to the right

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Donald Trump roundabout has been formally opened on the A1077 near Scunthorpe.

The traffic calming measure was named after the alleged “leader” of the United States as one has to give way to the right on a roundabout, and President Trump has been doing that for years.

“I hereby declare this roundabout open,” said Simon Williams, 712th in line to the throne, cutting the ceremonial ribbon.

“Nobody else was available, so they called me. Last week I opened a lamppost in Hull. I’m actually very busy.”

Scunthorpe council member, Jay Cooper, said, “We are very proud of Donald Trump roundabout.

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“It is a complete eyesore, nobody likes it, and it demands that one always gives way to the right, so the name is really very apt.”

Scunthorpe resident, Hayley Rice, said, “I live in Scunthorpe, so my standards aren’t high, but bloody hell… could we not have named it after somebody more likeable? Jimmy Savile, perhaps?”