Saturday 9 January 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Twitter wastes no time in suspending Trump after only 1449 days of hate-speech and harmful fake news


Twitter, Donald Trump

Popular social media hellscape Twitter has wasted no time in addressing Donald Trump’s use of the platform to spread hate, far-right misinformation and incite a failed armed insurrection by leaping into action and suspending his account just 1449 short days after he started.

“Twitter will not tolerate hate speech, racism and lies for more than 1449 days, and that is why President Trump’s account has been suspended,” said a Twitter spokesperson.

Twitter was immediately praised for their quick-thinking action.

“Thank heaven Twitter moved so fast,” said media expert Simon Williams

“Imagine if they hadn’t. With 1450 days of hate and far-right misinformation, we might well have seen a successful armed insurrection.

“Kudos to Twitter for their quick-thinking action and unstinting efforts to combat hate speech.”

However, other commentators have questioned why Twitter didn’t suspend his account after 1448 days, or perhaps even 4 days.

Twitter issued a statement in response.

“Fuck you, we’re Twitter. If we say 1448 days of hate speech is fine then 1448 days of hate speech is fine. You don’t like it? Start your own social media hellscape.”

President Trump has responded to Twitter’s decision to suspend his account by shutting himself in his bedroom and threatening to hold his breath until he’s allowed to tweet far-right lies again.

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