Tuesday 5 January 2021 by Mark Molloy

Schools reopen across England, in your f*cking kitchen again


homeschooling starts again

Schools have reopened across England today, in everyone’s kitchen, dining room or fucking front room as children return to homeschooling once again.

With news of a further national lockdown last night from the Prime Minister, and the closure of schools and colleges, millions of parents across the country slowly began the demoralising task of getting all the bastard homeschooling shite ready again.

Father of three Simon Williams told us, “I can’t believe this. Six weeks, six full fucking weeks – minimum – with these little shits all day, every day. Again.

“Whilst I’m trying to work from home too. For FUCK’s sake.

“Listen, I totally understand why schools have to close, I do, and to be honest I agree with the decision, but it’s just……I mean…. Fucking hell!

“I thought I’d finished with all that stuff first time round, forEVER.

“Now I have to start all over again, trying to work out algebra with one child, force the other one to actually try to read and pretend I give a shit about some drawing the little one has done whilst I am responding to about a dozen work emails that I have not had time to look at.”

Asked if he thinks the closure of schools will make a difference in trying to stop the spread of the virus we were told “Definitely, which is why opening them all up for just one day after Christmas to allow all the kids mix first was such a pissing great idea!

“Jesus, I despair.”

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