Boy racer caught doing 80mph tells police he was just trying to get a knighthood

A seventeen-year-old lad from Reading has told police that he was only speeding in the hope of picking up a knighthood for services to motorsport.

Jake Williams was stopped by police after they saw him driving at eighty miles an hour on Reading’s Inner Distribution Road, a feat which, though impressive given the amount of traffic usually present in the gridlocked town, was nonetheless illegal as the speed limit is forty.

“I can’t believe I got pulled over yesterday, innit,” he told us this morning.

“The police said I was ‘exceeding the speed limit’, whatever that means, but I was only doing a third of what Lewis Hamilton does in his car on race days, and he’s getting a knighthood for it.

“They gave me a hundred quid fine and three points, so if I pick up another six or nine points between now and the announcement of next year’s Honours list then I should be in with a chance.”

Arresting officer Simon Williams told us, “It’s not so much that he was speeding in an urban area, which is of course illegal.

“It’s just that coming round that last bend by the traffic lights, the racing line he took was abysmal.”