Thursday 24 December 2020 by Mark Molloy

Mary and Joseph arrested for breaching Tier 4 travel restrictions


MAry and Joseph arrested for breaching tier 4 travel restrictions

The Virgin Mary and her husband Joseph have been arrested today for breaching Tier 4 travel restrictions after being caught travelling a number of miles on the back of a donkey to give birth in a different region.

Mary, who is said to be heavily pregnant with the son of God, was caught breaking the law, after being found blatantly wandering from pub to pub looking for somewhere to stay for the night.

Police officer Simon Williams, who made the arrest earlier today told us “Yeah I nicked these two earlier, completely taking the piss they were. Don’t they know there’s a pandemic going on??

“I spotted them walking around knocking on pub doors, looking for somewhere to stay for the night, so I approached the individuals and asked them what was going on.

“It was at this point they informed me that they had actually travelled from outside the area, through a number of other Tier 4 locations, and the female suspect was just about to give birth to the Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God and the saviour of man, and they needed somewhere to stay.

“Well, clearly they had broken travel restrictions, and they were also trying to further ignore lockdown rules prohibiting them from staying at licenced premises overnight, so I nicked em both. Simple. It’s an open and shut case.”

Asked if any further arrests had been made we were told, “Three other fellas too, not long after, dressed as kings in fancy dress holding presents. I think there was some sort of party going on.”

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