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After government sources leaked that Boris Johnson had agreed on the terms of a trade deal with the EU, everybody in the nation was adamant it was awful despite the draft document having only being read by about seven people so far.
Remain campaigner Amanda Tinnock, who runs the Peoples-Vote-4-EU Facebook group, insisted that every line in the novel-length deal was completely unacceptable.
She told us, “I don’t even know where to download it from, but I am certain this deal is a dire threat to our economy, is racist, and is entirely based on lies and fraud.
“I will never, ever accept it and will continue to campaign against whatever it says regarding that backstop thingy.”
This sentiment as shared by people on the other side of the Brexit divide as asserted by Simon Williams, a UKIP member and retired taxi driver.
He told everyone in earshot, “This shameful deal is nothing less than a complete betrayal of the people’s will. I am sure it says we will have to be slaves to Brussels bureaucrats and be swamped by invading hordes of migrants.
“If Boris Johnson passes this abject surrender through the Parliament there will be riots, mark my words. Just not on Tuesdays or Fridays because that’s when I have my physio sessions with Pavel.”
It is estimated that the draft document so far only been read by the four civil servants who actually put it together.
I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!
