Woman convicted of saying “Well, it can’t get any worse” to be sentenced

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The woman who was convicted of saying “well, it can’t get any worse” yesterday will today be sentenced.

Ms Eleanor Gay, a bauble auditor from Chelmsford in Essex, is understood to have said the fateful phrase ‘well, it can’t get any worse’ during a phone call to her mother on Saturday evening.

“Well, obviously, it is uncertain as to whether or not Ms Gay’s comments led to the worldwide travel ban on the UK, or the Dover border closure with France,” said Simon Williams, an expert in unfortunate phrases.

“But, you just don’t f**king say it, do you?

“I mean, if there are the fates, or pixies or a callous and uncaring God all out there invisible to our plane of existence then this is exactly the sort of phrase that will get them saying – ‘hello, these humans are all getting a bit hubristic, aren’t they? I know, let’s make an absolute bollock of their travel plans and logistics’.”

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He also gave some advice on the sort of phrases people should say when something unpleasant or concerning happens.

“Just shut the f**k up. Say nothing at all. Who knows what could make things worse? So just keep it shut.”

Ms Gay will be sentenced today, and could well expect a sizeable custodial sentence as an example to others.

The trial follows the case last week of a Nottingham man who was sentenced to six years in prison for saying “I actually think things are starting to look up,” on Thursday evening.