Tuesday 22 December 2020

“No EU barrier can hold me!” insists defiant Brexiter wielding awesome power of majestic blue passport

Brexiter wields blue passport

A strong supporter of Brexit has made his way to the French border, insisting that nothing can stop him now that he wields the majestic blue passport of the victorious United Kingdom.

Simon Williams, 35, who plans to travel through France and down into Spain to catch some Christmas sun, is seemingly under the impression that a simple change of colour turns a British passport from a basic identification document into an infinity stone.

“No EU barrier is a match for me when I’m carrying THIS!” explained Williams, thrusting his blue passport into the sky like He-Man summoning the power of Greyskull.

“The power of numbskull, more like,” added one passport control worker watching on while slowly shaking his head.

Williams went on, “Now that we’re free of EU bureaucracy I can go wherever I like across Europe, whenever I like, because that’s what real freedom means. This is how winners live!

“Sure, a load of remoaner passport control staff are currently threatening to call the police because I keep demanding to be let in France.

“But that’s only because they haven’t properly looked at THIS!” he added, once again thrusting his blue passport into the sky as if it was supposed to catch lightening and vanquish his foes.

A government spokesperson told us, “We would strongly advise delusional Brexiteers not to head towards any of our external national borders – not because the blue passport won’t help them in any way whatsoever, but because post-Brexit Britain is so brilliant why would you EVER want to leave?”

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