New variant of UK passport causing trouble at EU borders

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A newly-discovered variant of passport in Britain is causing significant trouble at EU borders.

French Minister of Transport, Simone Guillaume, said, “We very much don’t like the look of this variant of passport. It appears to be spreading faster than the previous version and we really don’t want to see it all around the EU.

“So far, we’ve managed to stop it by closing all the borders, but that hasn’t stopped those affected brandishing it at customs officials like some sort of power-up.”

Scientist Eleanor Gay, said, “It is rapidly replacing other versions of the passport and has mutations that affect part of the passport likely to be important, like its colour.

“Some of those mutations have already been shown in the lab to increase its ability to infect the easily-led.

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“The passports were first detected in March. By November, around a quarter of instances in London were the new variant. This reached nearly two-thirds of suitcases in mid-December.

“There is a significant difference in the jeans. In these cases, they seem to have the Union Jack printed all over them with massive turn-ups.”

It is thought the variant emerged in a Conservative think tank in the UK and has already affected the most gullible of the population.