Monday 21 December 2020 by Dan Sweryt

“Our post-Brexit Coronavirus is already outperforming other countries,” insists Gavin Williamson

Gavin Williamson

Education Secretary and part-time Frank Spencer impersonator, Gavin Williamson, has claimed that the UK’s post-Brexit version of Covid-19 is simply ‘better’ than other countries’ versions of it.

Spokesman for Williamson, because the guy can’t seem to get the right words out in the right order, Simon Williams – no relation – said, “Gavin correctly believes that our new mutation of Covid-19, manufactured exclusively here in the South of the UK – the only bit of the UK that matters – is simply a ‘better’ virus than the ineffective, useless version from China, because we’re better as a country than everyone else.

“He believes it is a perfect illustration of how the UK can thrive in a post-Brexit world where the viruses we produce and bigger, better, and far more efficient than those produced elsewhere.

“Thus, by the logic he learnt from his mentor, the infamous sailor Chris Grayling, our things are better than everyone else’s things because we’re betterer.

“This is a much better virus. Think about it: it’s 70% more virulent than the old one. So it is better.

“In fact, people who had the old non-UK variant should upgrade immediately. Otherwise they may leave themselves unexposed to viruses.”

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