Monday 14 December 2020

Donald Trump presents Schrodinger’s evidence – simultaneously ‘overwhelming’ and ‘not enough to convince a single judge’


Donald Trump claims schrodinger's evidence

The evidence proving massive fraud in the US election exists in a binary state depending on whether it’s being looked at by a Trump cult member on the Internet or an actual judge in a court of law, physicists have confirmed.

Scientists have learned that the two types of evidence exist in a state of quantum superposition – one which demonstrates a stable conspiracy of tens of thousands of people working to prevent the re-election of America’s beloved President, and another which vanishes the moment a judge looks at it.

Despite seeming internally contradictory, Senior Republicans insist that quantum events have been observed at the Planck scale and can exist for a fraction of a second and so can be said to exist at a theoretical level, just like the evidence they have all been thoroughly convinced by.

“It’s a process which we define as collapsing the Red Wave,” said Professor Simon Williams of the Kettering Institute of Theoretical Conspiracies.

“The Red Wave exists until someone with a gavel and power to prosecute you if you bullshit them looks at it, at which point it vanishes and is replaced with a slightly musty dead cat.

“At higher energy states, the evidence can go so far as to incorporate dead South American dictators, gunfights in Frankfurt and watermarks on postal ballots, which in a lower energy environment simply do not exist at all, and never did.”

Enjoy the Electoral College count with a nice cup of Delicious MAGA Tears – get yours HERE!

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