Wednesday 9 December 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Without a return to purple foil on Dairy Milk, it’s Brexit in name only, says Leave supporter


Cadbury's Dairly Milk brexit negotiations

A principled Leave supporter has refused to accept any Brexit deal that won’t see a return to Dairy Milk bars being wrapped in a purple foil and a paper sleeve.

“I, for one, am sick of those barmy Eurocrats and their diktats that we have to have Great British chocolate bars like Dairy Milk in those fiddly plastic wrappers,” said Simon Williams, who says what he thinks and if you don’t like it then that’s your problem.

“I just hope that Boris has the courage to stand up for the will of the British people and bring back the nice purple foil on Dairy Milk bars, because otherwise this is Brexit in name only and a betrayal of literally everything this great country stood for.

“Did we single-handedly turn back Hitler, Napoleon and William the Conqueror with bars of Dairy Milk in fiddly plastic wrappers? No! No, we stood proudly as British men with our Dairy Milks in purple foil and I long for a day we will be able to do so again.”

Mr Williams refused to comment on whether a Brexit deal should see Kit Kats return to their original silver foil wrapping with a paper sleeve.

“Not bothered,” he said.

“I don’t eat Kit Kats.”

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