Government advises Covid vaccine should not be taken by anyone who is allergic to microchips

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The government has this morning clarified the rollout plans for its Pfizer covid vaccine, insisting it should not be administered to anyone who is allergic to microchips.

The move comes after two NHS workers suffered minor allergic reactions to the new vaccine, believed to be their bodies rejecting their new technological controls.

A government source told us, “As with all new medicines, we have tested the vaccine thoroughly, on tens of thousands of people, and it is deemed safe for the vast majority of people who would like it.

“However, if you are the sort of person who comes out in a rash when you hold an iPhone next to your skin, then we recommend not taking it, at least not in the first wave of immunisations.

Taxi driver and part-time immunology expert, Simon Williams told us,

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“This was bound to happen.  I predicted it after watching a YouTube video on it last week.

“The problem comes from a mixture of microchips, microwave radiation and the organic composition of the human body.  If you’re not sure whether you will react to the vaccine, or not, there is one simple test you can take.

“Simply put your iPhone in the microwave for one minute, on full power, and put your face within 2-feet of the microwave’s door.  If you feel a tingling sensation in your face after the minute is up, you could well be allergic the microchips in the vaccine.

“If you’re not concerned about microchips in the vaccine, then obviously don’t bother with this test.”

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