Government announces rapid vaccine deployment programme after hiring nation’s darts players

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Health minister Matt Hancock announced a new ‘rapid deployment’ scheme for the covid vaccine, which will see darts players used to vaccinate vulnerable groups without ever breaching social distancing guidelines.

With vulnerable groups prioritised due to a finite number of vaccine doses being available, it is thought darts players will be particularly suited to ensuring every dose is delivered accurately and effectively.

Hancock told reporters, “We’re very excited by this new program. We obviously only have relatively few doses compared to the population, so every shot has to hit the spot.

“We cannot afford to lose vaccines because people delivering them miss their aim when targeting the top of the arm. This won’t happen with darts players.

“An additional advantage is that they can keep their distance when vaccinating, so they can comfortable devlier a vaccination while standing two metres away.”

Some darts players however, have struggled during the training.  Simon Williams, ranked 195th nationally, told us, “I kept being told off for throwing two, or even three syringes into the patients arm and then celebrating.  Apparently it’s strictly one each. Where’s the fun in that?”

Williams also sees it as an opportunity to increase the population’s willingness to vaccinate.

He went on, “We can turn the vaccination centres into a great big party. All the players can have their own turnout music step up to throw, for example.

“The fans could come along and sing songs like ‘There’s only one Pfizer vaccine’, have a few beers and make a day of it.”

This article first appeared on our Dutch Partner site, De Speld. Read the original here.