Monday 7 December 2020 by Dan Sweryt

Boris Johnson planning to do entire Brexit assignment night before it is due

Boris Johnson doing Brexit homework

Boris Johnson is planning to do his entire Brexit assignment on the night before it is due to be handed in.

New policy advisor, Simon Williams, said, “What we all learned at school, and for countless deadlines throughout our working lives, is that there is no benefit to doing any work before it is due.

“All that happens in those instances is that you get ‘rewarded’ with yet more work!

“Thus, the best thing to do is pretend you’re working on something knowing full well it’ll get done the night before.

“In this instance, banging off tens of thousands of pages of baffling and complicated legal regulations is par for the course for BoJo and certainly not something he’s never done before.

“He’ll just drink a few pints, take a couple of Pro-Plus and pull an all-nighter. He might even only bonk Carrie twice that night, down from the usual five-times.

“But, don’t worry, he’ll probably still get us all a C-minus to drag us through with the very minimum effort required.”

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