Edward Jenner wants to inject me with micro-cows, insists 18th century anti-vaxxer

author avatar by 3 years ago

The introduction of an inoculation vaccination against Smallpox has been unmasked as a government conspiracy to inject honest, god-fearing yeomen with microscopic cows, according to ardent pamphleteer Simon Williams.

Williams, of the Parish of Kettering in the county of Northamptonshire, has produced a printed billet titled ‘Rise from thy Slumbers, sheep-people!’ which outlines how Doctor Jenner is in the pay of ‘Big Pox’ and his claims of a cure for the malady are easily demonstrated falsehoods.

The document says Jenner has no prior experience of inventing inoculants, but he is a member of the Royal Society along with several Jews – an observation followed with the single word ‘COINCIDENCE??!’.

Mister Williams, who is a publican by trade and without medical experience, goes on to say Jenners so-called ‘curative medicine’ contains chemicals derived from cows – which will result in people given the treatment being driven like lowing cattle by the government and business interests.

“What is the point of an inoculation against Smallpox Variola Minor, which has but a 1% mortality rate?”, asks the pamphlet.

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“And good gentlefolk cannot even tell if they have had it unless other townsfolk observe the pocks and scarring of their skin.

“Anyone tricked by this malfeasance will become nothing but a slave, and Doctor Jenner should be hanged for treason for this evil.”