The legal attempts by Donald Trump to reverse in court the result of the presidential elections suffered another setback when a Michigan judge threw out a sworn affidavit by Rudolph Giuliani explaining how a naked Frank Sinatra had appeared to him in his sleep to assure him the election was being stolen.
Simon Williams Esq, a personal injury lawyer from Saginaw hired by the Trump 2020 campaign, said that the ruling was critically unfair as it destroyed the very premise of their lawsuit.
“This is how American democracy dies, not with a bang but with the, well, quieter bang of a gavel blocking testimony from subconscious manifestations.
“We had eyewitness evidence from Ol’ Blue Eyes himself that thousands of ballots for Trump were thrown into a giant blender, liquidized with rainbow milk and then served in champagne glasses by squirrels in leather miniskirts singing a song about how Borat made a fool out of you. If that’s not proof then I don’t know what is!”
Mr Williams explained that ruling out the dream vision created a precedent that would invalidate hundreds of pieces of evidence their side was counting on.
“I know a MAGA supporter who had General Stonewall Jackson appear in a burrito to warn about absentee ballots.
“And a senior Republican congresswoman saw Lebron James appear in her sleep and tell her he has voted 666 times before he ravished her.
“And I have none other than Donald Trump Jr recalling how the grains of his breakfast cocaine rearranged themselves into a portrait of Jesus that told him the voting machines had been hacked by Chelsea Clinton.
“That’s right. Jesus himself!”