‘Why aren’t businesses ready for Brexit?’ asks government that has been missing Brexit deadlines since 2016

author avatar by 3 years ago

The government is concerned that businesses are not yet ready for something that they think probably won’t happen.

Brexit minister Simon Williams told reporters today, “We are deeply concerned that British corporations and independent businesses are not ready for some undefined changes which may occur at some point in the indeterminate future, possibly.

“But that outcome depends on whether other things happen. Which we think they will, but we’ve been wrong so many times before so your guess is as good as mine.”

“Most people were prepared for our departure from the EU on the 29 March 2019, but then that was postponed to the 12th April. Then there was the aptly named ‘End Of May’ departure that we told everyone to be prepared for, until it was postponed.

“Then there was the ‘dead in a ditch’ deadline last October. I remember that one because all the Brexiteers threatened to take to the streets in defence of their democratic rights and sovereignty. Although in the event, this self-righteous fury was checked by slightly chilly weather and was limited to some online grumbling instead.

“This was superseded by the January 2020 Final Deadline, which nobody prepared for. But that was just as well considering it didn’t happen.

“But the important thing is that people are prepared for the next deadline and follow government guidelines once we know what they are.

“So we are taking a leaf out of a concert promoters book and calling this the ‘Hell freezes over, we really mean it for definite this time, Brexit; the final chapter – part 1.”

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