Tuesday 17 November 2020 by Mark Molloy

Government confirms it’s waiting for Black Friday before ordering any more vaccine doses


Matt Hancock waiting for black friday

The government has revealed today that it is holding out for the Black Friday sales before ordering any more expensive vaccine doses.

With news emerging yesterday of another major vaccine soon to become available, sources at number 10 have advised that any further purchases will now be put on hold, until the Black Friday sales begin at the end of next week.

A spokesperson for the government confirmed, “Black Friday’s just around the corner, we may as well wait until then.

“Everybody loves Black Friday, you can save a bloody fortune if you play your cards right and find the right deal.

“And these vaccines are getting quite expensive the more we keep on buying. Especially if they keep coming up with new ones that we didn’t even know about which are better than the ones we’ve already pissing paid for.

“So now we are holding out, and not buying any more until Black Friday comes around in a couple of weeks and we can grab ourselves and amazing deal, off Amazon or something, maybe with a fire stick thrown in.

“Obviously there’s a slight risk that we won’t get what we want, but it’s better than being all well prepared like most other European countries, and spending a bloody fortune.”

Asked what the plan is if we don’t actually manage to secure enough vaccine doses to supply to the nation on Black Friday itself we were told, “January sales, never fails.”

Just in case the government fails at this, like everything else, get your NewsThump facemask here!

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: