28th amendment discovered that confirms President as whoever tweets ‘I won the election’

author avatar by 3 years ago

The United States has been left stunned following the discovery of a new 28th amendment that states that whichever Presidential candidate tweets ‘I won the election’ wins the election and becomes President.

As Donald Trump tweeted that phrase several times over the weekend, he becomes, in accordance with the new amendment, President for the next four years.

The amendment was discovered by President Trump himself after spending thirty minutes quietly contemplating the constitution in the National Archives.

“It’s incredible,” explained constitutional scholar Doctor Simon Williams.

“The amendment appears to have been written in some sort of eighteenth-century sharpie and the words ‘President’, ‘won’, ‘election’ and ‘I’ are all spelt incorrectly but, as it is written on the back of the constitution itself, it simply must be valid.

“It seems that the framers, in their wisdom, foresaw a time when Twitter would exist and planned for a new method of divining who would be President after an election on that basis.

“I can’t believe that two hundred years of constitutional scholars hadn’t thought to turn the document over to see if anything was written on the back.”

President Trump has hailed the discovery of the amendment and is busy preparing for four more years of his Presidency by playing golf and bitching about what’s on TV.

Coincidentally, discovered at the same time as the 28th amendment was a 29th amendment that states that the President must have all debts his wiped out and is exempt from having to pay any tax at all ever again.