Monday 16 November 2020

Screaming toddler demanding cookie told to stop acting all presidential


Toddler acting all presidential

A screaming toddler who is repeatedly bellowing at the top of his lungs that he deserves a cookie is being told to stop acting all presidential, according to reports this morning.

2-year-old Jack Williams has spent the best part of the morning demanding a cookie, despite all evidence suggesting he is neither entitled to one, or deserving of one.

“I WANT A COOKIE!” Williams told reporters, seemingly unaware that a cookie would not be forthcoming, and this his repeated demands for something he won’t be getting make him look immature.

“SO UNFAIR!” he went on, before telling those gathered that he should have a cookie because he definitely thought of it first.

Jack’s mother Sharon explained that traditional techniques for preventing poor behaviour have failed, and that she is reaching her wit’s end.

“I’ve threatened the naughty step, but Jack said he’d take it all the way to the Supreme Court if I used it.

“I’ve told him there are no cookies, but he just said the count was fake, that I was a lying mainstream parent, and that the cookie was definitely his because everyone is saying so.

“In the end, I lost my temper and shouted at him that if he didn’t stop acting all presidential he’d be going to bed without any dinner.  That’s when the dirty protest started.

“Honestly, I’ll be glad when this presidential phase is all over – and I’ve not got long to wait.  I’ve read a couple of articles and they all confidently predict it’ll come to an end on January 20th, 2021.”

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