Monday 9 November 2020 by Davywavy

‘What the hell will we write about now?’ ask Internet satirists

Satire writers left with nothing to write

The defeat of Donald Trump has left online gag-writers scrabbling round for ideas, according to reports today.

Trump, who has been a godsend for site traffic and print circulation alike, was defeated after Americans decided they’d like a bit of peace and quiet for literally five minutes.

Experts suggest there is a genuine risk that Twitter will ban Trump’s account now he’s not going to be President any more, which would rob writers of more than seventy per cent of their material.

“I’m left with the dilemma of how to keep earning enough to pay for Mocchachino lattes and loaves of artisan stone-baked bread from my local farmers’ market,” said Simon Williams, senior jokesmith at popular site FactPunch!

“What should I write about now?

“There’s a guy in the comments threads keeps popping up to tell us we should write jokes about Jews, but we can’t do that because George Soros pays us so much money to spread his globalising agenda.

“So I suppose we’ll have to resort to the same old lazy space-filler jokes about a middle-aged man buying a bicycle, or a couple having a mild disagreement. It’s not exactly imaginative, but it’ll pay the bills.

“At least we’ve still got Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg, which is something I suppose.”

Outdo everyone this Christmas by giving the gift of NewsThump headlines on a mug!

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