Melania Trump contacted by 53 separate divorce lawyers

author avatar by 3 years ago

Melania Trump has been inundated with calls and emails from divorce lawyers who smell blood in the water.

Following the frankly TERRIFIC upcoming defeat of Donald Trump in the Presidential election, the world’s least-bothered First Lady is probably going to leave her husband. I mean, who wouldn’t?

“Yes, obviously,” confirmed Melania Trump, over the deafening roar of her constantly ringing cell phone, landline and laptop.

“But please, could you all at least let me finish this magnum of champagne first? I’m going to party like it’s 2004- which was the last year I wasn’t married to that big, orange ape.

Then I will reply to one of the 53 voicemails currently sat on my phone. I’ll pick whoever has the sexiest voice. That’s how I ended up with Donald in the first place.

“I’ll also be writing a book, of course. And I’m sure the ghostwriters will be banging down my door in a spooky fashion.”