Wednesday 4 November 2020 by Mark Molloy

US rioters still have absolutely no idea when they should start looting Foot Locker

When can we start smashing stuff up ask voters

Rioters across the US have been left confused and frustrated today, with most still having absolutely no idea when they should smashing everything up and burning cars in protest at an election result they voted for.

With the election result still hanging in the balance this morning, angry rioters from a number of states who had hoped to begin burning police cars and looting shops within hours of the polls closing, may now have to wait up to three days before they can actually have a reason to start going mental in the streets.

Trump supporter Chuck Williams revealed “Aw man, I was looking forward to smashing my way into Footlocker and stealing as much as I could, you know in protest at the election result being stolen and all that.

“And then I was going to set some cars on fire, and start shooting at some black people, just like the President would want.

“But now I’m not sure when I can actually get cracking with my mindless and unnecessary acts of violence and destruction, or exactly what I need to be shouting at the police when I’m throwing bricks at their cars for no reason.

“And today Trump is saying he’s actually won, providing they don’t count the votes, so I might not even get the chance at all. It’s just so confusing.”

Asked if he could consider not rioting at all in light of the democratic process in place to decide the eventual winner we were told, “But I’ve got my gun out and everything…”

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