Wednesday 4 November 2020 by Neil Tollfree

‘F**k it, let’s give Kanye a try,’ says America


Kanye West

Following a day of squabbling over mail-in votes and big dumps, Americans en masse have declared themselves sick of the whole thing and thrown their weight behind a rapidly developing movement to give Kanye West a try.

Beginning in the so-called rust-belt states. People who have long been sick of liberal politicians promising much and delivering little, and have been left disappointed by four years of Donald Trump, have begun to take to the streets chanting – ‘f**k it, let’s give Kanye a try.’

“I don’t know man,” said retired metalworker Simon Williams.

“This election has been going on since 1934, right? And they still can’t figure out who won? I’m sick of the whole thing, it’s time to bring in Kanye.

“I mean, yeah, he’s no real experience of governance but, you know, he made My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Neither Trump nor Biden can say that they’ve made a modern rap classic, can they?

“And, that’s not even getting started on the albums he’s produced – Pusha T, Jay-Z, and even Nas. You think about it like that and I think we’d be mad not to try Kanye.”

There has been no word yet from Mr West on the growing movement because he is reportedly currently holding a free-thinking philosophical discussion with several dogs and a Buick.

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