Tuesday 3 November 2020 by Davywavy

Russia offers to send observers to USA to ensure free and fair election


Puting to send observers to US

Amid claims of voter intimidation, people vanishing from the electoral register, and mail fraud in the American elections, Russian premier Vladimir Putin has offered to send observers to the divided country to ensure their contested transition of power is free and fair.

International observers are often sent to countries struggling to build a democratic tradition, to make sure standards are upheld and basic principles are applied, and the Russian Federation has offered to help the American people grow to join the community of global democracies.

“We have been very concerned by what we have seen in the United States in recent months,” said Kremlin spokesman Simonov Williamsovitch.

“You have had crowds of anarchists tearing down historical monuments and engaging in running battles with the police in protest at the government, and also truck convoys of heavily-armed supporters of the incumbent attempting to intimidate opposition politicians and voters.

“It bears all the hallmarks of a political system on the verge of collapse.  Those of us in stable democracies are obliged to step in and offer help when we see democracies on the brink of collapse, like this one.”

Mr Williamsovitch went on to highlight America’s troubled history with democracy, including a rejected court action for a recount in 2000, ballot-stuffing and vote-tampering in Ohio in 2004, and demographically targeted disinformation campaigns in 2016.

“In Russia we have sometimes had our own troubles in the past and so we know what to look out for, and with our help, we hope America can have elections as fair, open and just as ours within a few years.”

Always vote for the side with the fewest arseholes – get your T-shirt here!

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