Monday 2 November 2020

Idiot shop owners to identify themselves with ‘Magna Carta Article 61’ posters in their windows


Magna Carta shops staying open

The nation’s moron shop owners have announced plans to identify themselves to the public at large by putting a sign in the window to clearly demonstrate their lack of intelligence.

As gullible simpletons across the country insist they can keep their shops open during the next lockdown due to an obsolete chapter of Magna Carta, everyone everywhere has given a really big sigh.

Consultant Simon Williams told us, “A general rule for any business owner should be, don’t base your business strategy in a time of crisis on a meme shared by your idiot Aunty Doris on Facebook.

“Putting such a sign up will do nothing – and I can’t stress this enough – except alert potential customers that you are an idiot.”

Williams went on to explain why Magna Carta will not save business owners during lockdown.

He told us, “Magna Carta was signed in 1215. The bit they’re talking about was removed in 1216. And it only ever referred to 25 barons in total, for less than a year, 800 hundred-odd years ago. But apart from being wrong about all of that, these imbeciles are absolutely spot on.

“It’s such a brilliant way to fool morons, I’m left shocked someone like Tommy Robinson or Nigel Farage hasn’t cashed in by selling the signs for fifty quid a pop.  I suppose the hand-written ones will have to do for identifying the idiots.”

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