Here we go again, say jubilant toilet roll manufacturers

author avatar by 4 years ago

Britain’s toilet paper manufacturers have already put in their orders for a new car after new lockdowns were announced.

Expecting bumper sales as desperate English people needlessly panic-buy staple goods again, sales staff from Range Rover, Jaguar and other luxury car marques have been seen arriving at the Andrex factory carrying their latest brochures.

”If there’s one thing the last lockdown taught us it’s that people expecting to be crapping a heck of a lot in the coming months and prepare accordingly,” said Simon Williams, owner of Clag-b-gone toilet rolls.

“So it turns out I’m not just making rolls of bog paper, in a way I’m printing money too.”

”Thanks for the new swimming pool, superspreaders!”

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