England to be locked down again after simpletons couldn’t follow basic rules when asked politely

author avatar by 3 years ago

Dipshits who insisted on going around coughing on their neighbours and not washing their hands have ruined things for everyone else, it has emerged.

Morons, who headed off out in big groups to the pub or to hang out with their mates have caused the government to shut everything down because they just had to act like arseholes who think they know best.

“Most people have restricted social contact in a sensible way to try and stop grannies dying, but, well, some people are just twats,” said spokesman for the department of health, Simon Williams.

“Whilst the vast majority of people kept their distance and only went out when they absolutely had to, a comparatively small number of slobbering imbeciles decided to set up a virus breeding programme because someone on YouTube told them that’s what clever people do.

“Because clever people absolutely listen to some bloke in his basement telling them exactly what they want to hear on YouTube.

“As a result, we’re having to introduce restrictions on everyone, and not just the people who are about as smart as a garden ornament.

”If you insisted on having a big get together because of some imaginary conspiracy against your human rights, this is on you, you stupid, selfish bags of shit,” he concluded.