Thursday 29 October 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Government to continue with ‘Hope it all sorts itself out’ Coronavirus strategy


Boris to hope coronavirus sorts itself out

The Government has resisted calls to do ‘something, anything’ to combat the second wave of Covid sweeping through the nation and has confirmed it will continue with its current ‘Hope it all sorts itself out’ strategy.

“I don’t think that we are really in a position to try and do something because doing things is quite hard and we’re not very good at that,” explained incompetent sociopath Boris Johnson.

“The current ‘Hope it all sorts itself out’ strategy is, really, the best we can offer. Rest assured that everyone in my Government will be hoping day-in and day-out that everything sorts itself out which, I think, should give everyone comfort.”

There has been some criticism of the Government for allowing thousands of its citizens to die because it can’t be bothered to come up with any sort of plan more tangible than just hoping for the best.

“Oh, I think that is terribly unfair,” continued Boris.

“Yes, it’s likely that thousands more will die. That will make people cross. But it is important to remember that those people are dying right now, and the election is four years away. By then most people will have forgotten that we are culpable for thousands and thousands of unnecessary deaths and vote for us anyway.”

It is expected that the Government will continue with ‘Hope it sorts itself out’ strategy until the dead start piling up in the streets, at which point they will move to the ‘Well, it would have been worse under Labour’ strategy.

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt and mask here!

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