Jeremy Corbyn has reacted to his suspension from Labour by saying that he couldn’t have done anything about anti-Semitism in the party because he wasn’t really a leader.
Sir Keir Starmer has suspended Jeremy Corbyn from Labour after an inquiry found the party responsible for anti-Semitism when he was leader.
“No,” said Corbyn. “That’s simply not correct. I was never the leader.
“Just look at the elements of leadership and you’ll see that I’m right.
“Trust: The British public trusted me so much they voted for Theresa May and then Boris Johnson. Need I say more?
“Transparency: Does a complaints process guided by likely press interest and subject to political interference sound transparent to you?
“Ability to learn from mistakes: I lost two general elections in two years. Is that leadership?
“Confidence: Come on, my fellow Labour MPs didn’t have confidence in me. How can anyone possibly call me a leader? It’s utter nonsense!
“Decisiveness: I was so decisive that I still have a Brexit fence post stuck up my bottom. I’m currently deciding whether or not to have it surgically removed.
“Humility: I respond to any sort of criticism by using phrases like ‘dramatically overstated’ and certainly don’t use it as an opportunity to grow and develop.
“Creativeness: Is dragging the country back to the 1970s an ‘innovative approach?’ Face it, I’m as creative as a beige wrecking ball.
“There, that should convince everyone that I wasn’t actually Labour leader and therefore could not have been in any way culpable for anti-Semitism in the party.
“Which, incidentally, has been dramatically overstated.”
