Man who spent summer insisting ‘All Lives Matter’ not that keen on helping migrant boats sinking in the Channel

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A man who spent most of the summer tweeting #AllLivesMatter whenever anyone called for help for a particularly vulnerable sub-group of our society, has today decided that the way to stop migrants crossing the channel is by letting their boats sink in the Channel.

Simon Williams, 45, is of the view that ‘all lives matter’ only when it helps weaken the argument of people he doesn’t like, preferring the moniker ‘some lives matter’ when the lives at stake are those he’s not particularly keen on.

He told us, “ALL lives matter – and that shouldn’t be a controversial opinion and everyone should all shut up and agree with me.

“It’s important to remind someone that all lives matter whenever they call for the protection of a very specific group that doesn’t include white people.”

However, when asked about the ongoing attempts by asylum seekers to cross the channel in dinghies, sometimes with tragic consequences, he told us, “It’s ridiculous, they’re getting away with murder. We should just send the Navy in, sink a few of them and that’ll be the end of it. It’s mostly terrorists anyway.”

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When it was pointed out that only yesterday a boat sank that included both women and children, he said, “Yeah, but that’s how the terrorists stop you blowing them up.  They know we’re weak. They’d soon stop coming if they all ended up at the bottom of the channel.

“I don’t know what you mean, this is no way contradicts my previous position that all lives matter.”

Sociologist Derek Matthews told us, “Yeah, we’ve noticed the correlation. A Venn diagram of people who tweeted AllLivesMatter during June and July and people who say we should be making these migrant dinghies turn around and go back to France is basically a circle.

“And yes, it’s a really big circle full of arseholes.”