Wednesday 28 October 2020 by Chris Ballard

Leaving vulnerable children to go hungry is just our way of getting everyone ‘Brexit ready’, admits government


Boris keeping children hungry to get keep them Brexit ready

The Prime Minister has revealed that his refusal to feed hungry kids is simply part of a Brexit strategy to get the wider UK population ‘Brexit ready’ and familiar with the concept of having no food to eat.

The furore over free school meals isn’t simply your bog-standard lack of Tory compassion. It’s all part of a coherent plan to prepare the nation for Brexit.

“For most people, the notion of not having enough food to eat is completely removed from their everyday lives,” explained Boris.

“It’s probably just something glimpsed on television, happening to people in a faraway developing country.

“With a no-deal Brexit on the horizon, my government’s job is to make the possibility of starvation painfully, horrifyingly real. You need to be prepared.

“We’re obviously starting with something relatively palatable – no food for children.

“If we’d gone straight in with something hard-hitting like removing the subsidised MP restaurant then, by golly, there’d be uproar! The great unwashed would be rioting in the streets!

“The next step is to start starving other sections of the populace in decreasing order of expendability.

“So we’ll do NHS workers, teachers, police officers and so forth… eventually working our way up to really vital members of society like hedge fund managers.

“By the time we enter the magical new world of no-deal Brexit the idea of wasting away to nothing through lack of sustenance will be as normal as having a cup of tea!

“Except, of course, there won’t actually be any tea.”

The definitive Brexit Venn Diagram – see it HERE!

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