Tuesday 27 October 2020 by Davywavy

Your dustbin counts as a safe place to leave a parcel, Amazon confirms


Wheelie Bin

The large receptacle marked “Domestic refuse” outside your house is a perfectly safe place to leave any parcels, Amazon has confirmed today.

Bins, which are traditionally used to get rid of unwanted rubbish and whose contents are regularly thrown into a large truck which crushes them into fragments, are an ideal secure storage for deliveries when you’re out – assuming you get home and look there before that truck happens along.

“When you’ve made a valuable and important purchase, it stands to reason you’d want it lobbing in your bin if you fail to answer within eight nanoseconds of our driver ringing the doorbell,” said Amazon spokesman Simon Bezoson.

“The excellent service we offer is very important to us. Our drivers are under strict instructions to allow sufficient time for the sound waves to reach your ear before dumping your parcel in with last night’s nappy bag and driving off.

“We’ve tried a number of safe storage systems for when you’re not about, including throwing packages over your fence or through your window, or just giving them to a passer-by in the street, and using your dustbin is far the best solution anyone over here has thought of yet.”

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