Friday 23 October 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Government announces u-turn on yesterday’s policy decision to abandon daily u-turns


Boris performs another u-turn

The Government has announced a u-turn on yesterday’s announcement that there will be no more u-turns.

Prime Minister Boris Fucking Johnson’s premiership has largely been characterised by his daily announcements that he will be doing whatever it was that he said he wouldn’t be doing the day before, and it had been hoped that by abandoning this policy the government would increase their credibility amongst the electorate.

“There is a perception that we haven’t got any fucking idea how to run a country,” said a Government insider.

“We had hoped to disabuse people of that notion by abandoning the policy of daily u-turns. However, we have had to do a u-turn on that and bring back the policy of daily u-turns so we could make another u-turn.

“Also, I, and several of my colleagues, are starting to suspect that the reason there is a perception that we haven’t got any fucking idea of how to run a country is because we haven’t got any fucking idea of how to run a country.”

It is expected that tomorrow the Government will u-turn on today’s decision to bring back daily u-turns and pledge to bring an end to the daily u-turns.

A pledge that is expected to last about a day.

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt here!

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