Monday 19 October 2020

History teacher in year 2120 tells class that lockdown of 2020 was ‘economic suicide’ as everyone saved now dead anyway


history teacher in the future

A humanoid history teacher in the year 2120 has spent the morning telling its class about the great lockdown of 2020, and how the economic cost has been proven to be a complete waste of resources because everyone saved is now dead anyway.

Teacher C3852, recently uploaded with the most recent revision of the early 21st-century history syllabus, explained to a rapt class of young children that although their great grandparents survived the lockdown, they have all ultimately succumbed to other fatal illnesses.

It explained, “The government spent billions trying to save people from the novel coronavirus, it locked down businesses, it basically put everyone under house arrest, and it put the nation into even worse debt.

“It was so bad that the economy shrank by about 10% in 2020.  Yet despite all of this, everyone saved by those policies is now dead. So the question I have for you, class, is ‘was it worth it’?

“I’d like each of you to write an essay explaining your thinking on the subject, and please bear in mind that the post-Brexit famine killed way more people that Covid, so was worrying about the virus really that big a deal?”

Member of the class, Jake Williams, 11, said that upon hearing all the evidence, he didn’t see why any money was spent trying to save people who were only going to die anyway.

He told us, “If I’ve learned anything from studying our nation’s history, it’s that my role as an organic unit of economic production is a fleeting one, and I should be grateful for the few moments of pleasure I might be lucky enough to enjoy along the way.

“Anyway, it’s maths now, sorry.”

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