Friday 16 October 2020 by Davywavy

Man hoping for ‘Australia-style deal’ with his local pub after getting barred


Man barred from pub

A man who told the bartender at his local to fuck himself and insisted he’d never drink there again is hoping to gain access to the bar and restaurant under an Australia-style deal, it has emerged.

43-year-old Simon Williams got barred from his pub after deciding the staff were all twats and telling them so, and insisting he could get far better and cheaper beer from literally anywhere else.

However, friends say Simon has thus far been unable to procure cheaper drink and the stuff he’s been making in his own bathtub to make up the shortfall tastes like piss, or even worse, Hofmeister.

“As I understand it, an Australia-style deal means I get everything I want despite being specifically told I can’t have it,” he told friends.

“I’m not 100% sure how that works, but I’m going to tell the bouncer tonight that I’ve got an Australia style deal with the pub so they’ve got to serve me, and I’m very confident he won’t tell me to fuck off again.

“If this works, I’m going to try and arrange an Australia-style deal to access my ex-girlfriend’s fanny.”

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