Welsh Assembly blows Severn bridges to protect country from English Covid hotspots

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The Severn Bridge and the Second Severn Crossing have been blown up by the Welsh government to prevent people travelling to the country from coronavirus hotspots in England.

Wales’ First Minister Mark Drakeford has unveiled the latest measures to protect the Welsh population from Coronavirus.

“Haha, try getting in now you Sais bastards!” he said in a press conference.

“For years we’ve been looking for an excuse to prevent the English coming over the border – God bless Covid-19!

“We considered putting people off by reinstating the Severn crossing toll but then we thought it would be best to err on the side of caution and demolish the bridges entirely.

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“I would like to formally apologise to the families of those who were crossing the bridges when the fuses blew – putting the Welsh version first on warning signs does have its drawbacks, although I’m sure everyone agrees with the overall importance of bilingual signage.

“Still, probably worth the sacrifice – at least now we won’t have English twats coming to their second homes, making fun of our stupid accents and contributing to our economy.”

Several people have pointed out that the demolition seems a little illogical given that the Covid hotspots in the north of England are nowhere near the Severn.

“Don’t worry, we’ve thought of that,” said Mr Drakeford.

“Mid and North Wales have their own secret weapon to prevent people from travelling there – thousands of acres of bleak nothingness.”

English person Simon Williams said, “Wales? I thought that was just a myth.”