Tuesday 6 October 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Matt Hancock repeatedly steps on rake


Matt Hancock steps on rake

‘Health’ Minister Matt Hancock has stepped repeatedly on the head of a rake leading to the handle repeatedly smacking him in the face.

The incident took place over a period of nearly an hour earlier this morning before he was scheduled to give a speech on today’s batch of world-beating anti-COVID measures the Government is pretending it will implement.

“He was just walking around the shopping centre, trying to engage with normal people. It was creepy,” said a witness

“All of a sudden, he stepped on the head of a rake and the handle just bounced up and smacked him in the face.

“It looked ever so painful. I mean, a rake handle smashing you in the face? It would hurt, wouldn’t it?”

Mr Hancock took a moment to compose himself.

“Yeah, he stepped back. Shook his head and laughed a little, like he couldn’t believe it had happened. But then he went forward and stepped on the rake again.”

Again, it smashed Mr Hancock in the face.

“So he tried again, and stood on the rake again and got another whack in the face. He kept doing it over and over again.

“I left after half an hour. Apparently, you can have too much of watching Matt Hancock getting smacked in the face with a wooden rake handle. Who knew?”

After an hour of repeatedly stepping on the rake, the minister’s team ushered him onto the campaign bus and he left.

It has been judged as one of the most successful days for Mr Hancock since the Pandemic began.

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