The release of the new Bond movie, No Time To Die has been delayed again, probably until everybody actually stops dying.
The highly unfortunate, aptly named film was due to be released next month after originally being cancelled in April, because of everyone dying, but has now been pushed back again until at least next year, because of everyone dying.
Producer Simon Williams explains “Well we’re fucked on two counts really”
“Not only is the film actually called No Time To Die, right in the middle of a global pandemic where over a million people have so far died, when it wasn’t their time – which in itself seems a little heartless to try to promote.
“But the fact that people are in fact also starting to die again, in bigger numbers, just when we want them to pile into cinemas and make us some money is also a real pain in the arse.
“So once again, we have no option but to cancel the opening of the film, and hope that people stop dying.
“And if it’s still like this next April, we’re changing the fucking title.”