Friday 2 October 2020

Enraged Donald Trump destroys West Wing office after learning people under Covid quarantine can’t play golf


Trump smashes up west wing office after learning he can't play golf

President Donald Trump has this afternoon destroyed a West Wing office after learning that those under COVID-19 quarantine rules can’t go out and play golf as much as they normally do.

Trump was told that his two-week quarantine would begin immediately and that it could see him miss four or five rounds of golf in the next fortnight.

Aides said he flew into an immediate rage, throwing chairs across the room, pulling down filing cabinets, throwing papers all over the floor.

“It was a pretty scary sight. Well, as scary as a 74-year-old man in moderate health can be.

“Seriously though, in nearly four years in office, we’ve never seen him this animated.  Perhaps once when someone brought him a full-fat Coke instead of diet.  Then maybe.

“Even when the whole Stormy Daniels things happened, he was angry, but not like this.  Taking his golf away is literally the worst thing anyone can do to him.”

After calming down in the Oval Office for a couple of hours, Trump discussed his situation with a number of close aides, asking them,  “What if we shut the whole course down? We could send everyone home and I’m the only one allowed anywhere on the course, surely THAT would be OK?

“I mean, I can do that, right? As the President – I can commandeer a golf course for myself? We can call it a national security emergency or something?

“What do you mean no? I’m the PRESIDENT. Do you want me to start pulling apart the Roosevelt Room? Because if you tell me one more time I can’t play golf, that’s what’s happening!”

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