Wednesday 30 September 2020

Moron invokes Magna Carta as argument to avoid wearing mask in Tesco

Man invokes magna carta to avoid wearing mask in Tesco

A moron is today insisting that he doesn’t need to wear a mask in Tesco because of something written in an 800-year-old document that he definitely hasn’t read.

Simon Williams, 35, has decided that he has the freedom to do as he pleases while shopping in Tesco because of Magna Carta, which he is insisting is still entirely applicable today because he gets his news from memes on Facebook.

“The Magna Carta says you don’t have to wear a mask,” he told us, ignoring the fact that it’s not the Magna Carta, but simply Magna Carta.

When asked which bit of Magna Carta specifically give him that freedom, he said, “One of the clauses in the sixties I think, it’s definitely in there, I read it on Facebook in an image with the flag of England being held aloft by St George – so it must be true.

“The government is trying to take away the god-given freedoms that I definitely have because of a document signed by a long-dead king from a royal line that disappeared hundreds of years ago.”

Despite repeated attempts to explain that the vast majority of Magna Carta has been replaced over the years, and the specific bit he actually wants to invoke referred only to the land barons, Williams still insists it’s a valid reference.

He went on, “Look, if it’s written down like this, it’s the law, and you have to obey the law.

“Well, you have to obey the lawn unless it means I can’t get the very specific version of Brexit that I want, then you can ignore any laws you like to keep me happy.”

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