Wednesday 30 September 2020

Joe Biden calls for relaxation of ‘open-carry’ gun laws for debate moderators


Joe Biden calls for armed debate moderators

Debate moderators should be allowed to openly carry weapons in an attempt to better protect debaters, according to Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden this morning.

After an evening spent verbally sparring with Donald Trump due to an ineffective debate moderator, Biden has broken from his party’s official position on gun reform to call for debate moderators to be openly armed at all times.

Biden told reporters, “It’s a deterrent, that’s all.  God, we hope no debate moderator is every going to have to brandish a weapon to ensure good behaviour, but at this stage, I think we have to admit that the rule of law is being ignored in some of our biggest debates.

“Once control is lost, you’re into the realms of anarchy, and we can’t have that. If a moderator is armed, then a debater is going to think twice about interrupting them and talking over them like an angry toddler.

“I’m not calling for anyone to be shot, I’m just saying the threat of being shot could be enough to encourage better behaviour. Just like our forefathers envisaged with the second amendment.”

Republican strategists said they are extremely keen to dismiss Biden’s calls as the ramblings of a mad man, but that unfortunately, he keeps saying things it would be harmful to disagree with.

Trump 2020 campaign manager, Chuck Williams, told us, “We would never call for greater gun reform, we love the NRA and all the money they give us, and all the votes that money can buy.  So, reluctantly, we agree with Joe.

“Our main concern is that if the President thinks there might be guns at the next debate, and that he could be exposed to any danger whatsoever, there’s a very real danger he’ll suffer a relapse of his bone spurs.”

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