Friday 25 September 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Boris Johnson berates the public for driving to Barnard Castle to check their eyes work


Boris criticises public for trips to Barnard Castle

Prime Minister Boris f*cking Johnson has launched a scathing attack on the general public for breaking lockdown earlier in the year and driving all the way to Barnard Castle to check their eyes worked.

The general public’s trip to Barnard Castle is what many experts believe started to bring about the collapse of the lockdown and ended the belief that everyone was doing their best to adhere to the lockdown regulations.

“You have many decent, honest political advisors doing their best to follow the rules, no matter how difficult and unpleasant they are,” said Mr Johnson.

“And to see the entire general public all drive up to Barnard Castle on some flimsy excuse about checking their eyes work must have proved terribly demoralising to them.

“As such, I would remind the general public that it is difficult for all of us, but that is no excuse to decide that the rules don’t apply to you and just go off for a day out with your family.

“You total shits.”

Mr Johnson then went on to blame the general public for not locking down soon enough, not developing a world-class track-and-trace system – as they’d promised – and for not being able to provide adequate COVID testing facilities to all who need them.

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt here!

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