Man insists he will only break new lockdown rules in a very ‘limited and specific way’

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Voter Simon Williams has told the government today that he only plans to break the new rules on social gatherings in a ‘very limited and specific way’, given this is considered perfectly acceptable by the government.

As many people reconsider their plans for the coming weeks and months in light of the new restrictions, some have decided they will go ahead and do as they please, given they will only be breaking the rules in a very limited and specific way.

It’s a move the government has deemed ‘irresponsible’, with a Downing Street spokesperson telling us, “You can’t ignore the laws you don’t like simply because that’s what we’re doing with Brexit.

“The situations are very different. For example, Simon didn’t willingly sign a document agreeing to abide by these new restrictions, having spent months negotiating the finer details, just like we did with the Northern Ireland protocols – he had theses rules forced upon him.  So it’s very different.

“As everyone knows, you can break rules that you not only wrote, but also willingly signed up to – you just can’t break the ones you had no say in whatsoever.  See?”

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Landlord Derek Matthews told us, “I am fully supportive of the government’s plans in their attempts to restrict the transmission of the coronavirus, and I will adhere to absolutely all of them.

“Except the ones I don’t like, obviously. Such as closing the pubs at 10pm.

“I intend to stay open until at least 11pm, like usual, but because I’m only breaking the rules in a very specific and limited way, I’m sure this won’t prove to be an issue.”

This isn’t an illegal gathering, it’s a well-disguised grouse hunt – get the T-shirt HERE!