Wednesday 23 September 2020 by Arabin Patson

Facebook threatens Europe with fair elections decided by well-informed voters


Nick Clegg Facebook

As a warning shot to the EU, over a proposed ban on Facebook selling data of EU citizens to US companies, the social media giant has warned it might very well deprive Europeans of paranoid conspiracy theories, misspelled racist rants and electoral manipulation.

In a press statement, Facebook spokesperson and former jester to the Queen, Nick Clegg , explained that the European Union needs to decide if it really wants to live in a world where moderate open-minded voters get information from professional unbiased sources.

“I know people think we are bluffing but make no mistake, we are willing to leave the EU and take our hundreds of euros in tax payments with us.

“So before you start thinking that the rule of law matters more than Mrk Zuckerberg’s latest tantrum, ask yourself what it would be like to wake up on a continent without Facebook.”

“Getting to see your elderly relatives sink into a rabbit hole of hate-filled delusions and fall prey to fascist conmen? Gone in an instant!

“Those four hundred posts a day from your colleague about her fucking cats that you can’t block because she’s above you and loves to talk about it at work? Vanished!

“That invitation from some rancid fat fuck you’ve never met to rent a boat and patrol the channel to ‘stop the invasion’? That will become a thing of the past. Are you really ready for that?

“If we leave Europe, the impact will be huge. People will have no way to network aside from Youtube, Zoom, Twitter, Linkedin, WeChat, TikTok, Tumblr, Reddit and all those others that pop up every week.

“You have been warned.”

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