Martian tripods successfully conquer Earth after adopting social distancing precautions

author avatar by 4 years ago

An invasion of planet Earth by hostile Martian invasion forces has been entirely successful, due to the Martians taking all the necessary sanitary precautions this time.

“We’ve really learned our lesson,” admitted Martian invasion captain Zy-Mon Williams.

“Despite having intellects vast, cool and unsympathetic, the last time we invaded Earth we failed to observe basic hygiene precautions and as a result, we got wiped out by a virus.”

Williams described how the Martians had avoided what he described as a “second wave” by frequent hand washing, keeping at least two metres apart from one another in their Tripods, observing the Rule of Six, and wearing face masks.

“You foolish Earthlings even showed us how to make them,” he cackled, displaying his own home made mask in an attractive Cath Kidston floral sprigged design.

NewsThump Hoodies

Health Minister Matt Hancock confirmed last night that the Government did not intend to take any retaliatory action against the Martian invaders, as they had at all times adhered to the guidelines on social distancing.

Earthlings received the news with mixed emotions.

“I for one welcome our new alien overlords,” said David Icke.

“After all, they can’t be any worse than the current shower we’ve got in Government.”